Memphis, TN- (Habanero of Texas)- There is a mass exodus brewing in the Memphis Police Department last week as a result of officer complaints of the ‘stone-age working conditions.’ Today the Dallas Police Department set up a recruitment center on the door step of City Hall in downtown Memphis, Tennessee.
Dallas Police Sergeant Raphial Henimendez, who works in recruiting, said, “We heard about the lack of workers’ benefits and stagnant pay scale for which the Memphis police officers have been working. So we decided to come up here and offer these hard working cops an opportunity to better themselves.”
What the Dallas Police Department recruiters have offered theses Memphis Cops may come as a surprise though. When they say, “Disney Land Sign-On Bonus”??, it’s not a metaphor! What they are referring to is an actual 10-day, all expenses paid vacation to one of the two world renown Disney theme parks including lodging, food and transportation throughout their stay.
“Dallas P.D. has been operating in a budget-surplus for many years now, and the police chief, along with a unanimous City Council, have all agreed that this is a worthy and diligent recruiting effort being spearheaded by the Dallas Police Department Recruiting Division” said Sergeant Henimendez.
We visited the Dallas P.D. “recruitment center” that was set up at the footsteps of Memphis City Hall. What we found was quite shocking to say the least. They parked a 45′ private tour bus that had been modified into a mobile leisure/office space that some might say is worthy of carrying the name, “Trump” somewhere in the title.
Sgt. Henimendez gave us a tour and we were amazed at finding a plush and lavish interior. The ‘inner chamber’ of the bus, directly adjacent to a fully stocked wet-bar, housed what we were told is called the, “Proxy-Swear-In Room.” Sgt. Henimendez told us, “This is where we have successfully sworn in 18, now former, Memphis P.D. officers, just this morning. These guys could not be more excited to now be members of the Dallas Police Department. We owe them and their families (note: to also include two friends) this 10 day, all expenses paid vacation to a Disney theme park of their choice. We consider it a token of appreciation to these hard-working cops for what they have endured here in the Memphis. We want them to understand, from the beginning, that Dallas will never function like what they have endured here in Memphis. Consider it a gift, if you will, from the kindhearted tax payers of Dallas, Texas.” said Sgt. Henamendez, speaking for the entire population of Dallas.
We couldn’t help but notice the opulent interior, and what must have been outrageously expensive decor inside the bus. Just the bar alone consisted of a hand-carved, dark mahogany hardwood surface. This surface was of intricate detail, and was an exact replica of the Dallas P.D. shield, which had been hand-tooled by a French artist by the name of Francois Beglia. We were told that Beglia, at one time, was an elite officer in the French Gendarmerie, and three years ago Dallas P.D. flew Beglia in on city funds, in order for him to complete this magnificent carving for the department’s recruiting bus.
Sgt. Henimendez told us, “These new Memphis PD recruits can be sworn-in, and then immediately move into the celebration phase of the process. Their vacation begins with the tough decision of having to choose from one of our 46 top-shelf liquor brands, before they are then given an escorted transport to Memphis International Airport, in the comfort of our recruiting bus. It’s a win-win and we couldn’t be more happy to welcome these guys, and gals, to now be part of our police force.”
At the time of this story’s publishing, we learned that one Dallas area Tea-Party Organization had made a formal Open Records Request to the Dallas City Manager’s Office, for any and all documents related to the expenditures of the Dallas Police Department Recruiting Division. Unnamed sources within the Dallas City Government, told us that there was an unnatural series of “scrambling” going on in city hall, but no additional details were provided.